East Bay Rats Fight Party & Carnival (Nimby, Oakland, 29 January 2005)

Whoa.

Pyrotechnics?

A bonfire in the back from a tin can?

Bikers?

Drunk men and women of various ages, styles, and degree of attractiveness?

Full on marching band complete with cheerleader strippers?

A 24 pack of Sierra and assorted Bass and Stella's at hand?

And a boxing ring in the middle where there are two girls wrestling each other with their bare hands?

All this for $5? Either I was in a real-life Fight Club or the bible got hell all wrong.

Welcome to the spectacle that is the East Bay Rats Fight Party & Carnival. This thing was probably the weirdest and most obscure thing I have ever seen. Yet, it was probably the most surreal and one of the most memorable nights I've had in a while.

As my friends and I were walking towards the warehouse, we can hear the loud sounds of engines, explosions, and the roar of the crowd from the inside. When we reached the entrance, a whole line of motorcycles were outside and was accompanied by a Volkswagen van that was so altered that the guys from Pimp My Ride would have been proud of it. I didn't know what to expect, especially since this isn't a scene that I'm really familiar with. I honestly thought, at that point, that I made a big mistake dragging my friends to this event.

However, all those preconceived notions were immediately thrown out the window when my eyes were greeted to the sight of a boxing ring where two guys were slugging the living crap out of each other. I was intrigued, so I moved closer. After I reached for a beer in my friend's bag, I suddenly became more into the event, becoming more thrilled as each punch landed. After this bout, I looked around and was amazed by the environment. Plenty of people all around of different backgrounds and ethnicities, a huge pyrotechnic set up in the far corner, a huge stage on the left for the band, and a blazing bonfire in the back. This was awesome!

My attention immediately focused on the ring yet again when a semi-attractive woman and her alleged sister or friend engaged in a wrestling match. At first, the match was boring because they would pull their hair and immediately both would end up on the mat. But then, the fight got better. At the start, these two girls were playful with one another, but now they are turning into bitter enemies. The hair tugging was more intense, there was real anger in each of their faces, more pushing and shoving, and then...the kicking started. Oh, yes! This was such a beautiful sight.

More of these types of matches went on and time definitely flew by. Most of the matches involving the men were entertaining, but some of them were just way too drunk to fight. For example, Fu Man Chu vs. Smitty was a great match to watch, but Smitty was way too drunk and everytime he would throw a punch, he would be falling soon thereafter. Fu Man Chu did get some good hits in there since Smitty was bleeding for most of the time. Another was the battle of the Big Black Guys, where the guy that belonged to the East Bay Rats was clearly drunk out of his mind to fight. They did give it a good go, but both of them were too tired and drunk to continue.

The girl fights were definitely the highlight of the evening because, let's face it, they're more entertaining to watch! DKNY vs. Whitie was a good one, with DKNY (a rather large African-American woman) got some good hooks and jabs against Whitie. However, despite the mismatch, Whitie stood her ground and fought DKNY hard. Another match was the Asian Girl with the Pink Streaks vs. Girl with Red Shirt. Asian Girl landed some great punches on Red's head and torsoe, and vice versa. Definitely the highlight match of the night, with Asian girl winning the bout.

While all these matches were unfolding, bands would play on the sidestage. Two punk bands played but were largely ignored by the crowd because they sucked. However, the Extra Action Marching Band stole the entire event. This group consisted of a full on marching band and they sounded fabulous, especially since their tunes were accompanied by people beating the crap out of one another. Then, the cheerleader strippers, which consisted of two flat chested women and one man with a thong performed cheers for the crowd while Extra Action were playing. It was fantastic! However, the dude with the thong was just way too disgusting to look at. Grotesque!
Overall, a memorable night. One of the most entertaining and awesome spectacles to date!

Beer Rating: 1 Beer